You might think that your emotional struggle ends the moment your lawyer in Townsville hands you the final divorce decree. But if you got a toxic ex-husband, it might be just the start of your miserable journey. While you desire to have a civil relationship for the sake of your kids, your past sweetheart can find it hard to move on because of anger or bitterness. He might throw you malicious accusations, stalk your digital and personal life, send you criminal threats, abuse you with inappropriate messages, sully your reputation, and badmouth you to your children.
Here’s how you can survive co-parenting with a nasty ex-spouse:
1. Take the high road
If you were the one who left, your ex would feel small and dis-empowered. He will blame you for his misery and vow for revenge. Divorce will not stop him from fighting a continuous battle until he achieves his goal: make your life twice as miserable. So your ex-spouse might try to manipulate you, criticize your parenting style, and show you rudeness, fury, and cruelty.
Even if it’s tempting to jump into the mud pit, resist the urge, and always act with integrity. Your toxic ex-husband will force you to go beyond your boiling point, and when you do, it will give him perverse pleasure. He might also use your response against you. Do not respond. Instead, vent your anger and frustrations to a close friend or a family member. Remember that while you can not stop a furious ex from trying to destroy you, you can stop his wicked efforts from working.
2. Secure your digital life
You might have shared your passwords and username with your ex-husband when your story was still a fairy tale. This situation is dangerous because a vengeful ex will explore all avenues, including your digital profile so he can ruin your reputation. He might post fake messages on your social media account or post your intimate photos to make you suffer. Make sure to reset all your passwords in your email, social media, and financial statements. Delete your private videos, steamy messages, and racy photos as he could use these to execute his digital revenge. And the next time an important guy comes along, remember to keep your passwords to yourself.
3. Set clear boundaries
Your ex might still want to maintain his emotional connection with you and likes to know every update in your life. Don’t hesitate to set clear boundaries. Let him understand that you don’t have an obligation to tell him about your personal and work life.
Keep your communication basic and professional. Limit your conversation with the necessary things that are connected to your kids and co-parenting. You don’t have to tell him if you were promoted in your job or let him know that you are dating a new guy. If you engage in lengthy conversations, he will grab the chance to rekindle old arguments and dredge up previous complaints against you.
Co-parenting with a toxic spouse can drain your patience and urge you to give an equally toxic emotional response. But remember that your kids need one selfless parent who has the heart to provide them with a safe and stress-free environment. Choose to be one.